God of Fire
by CK143
Summary: My version on the myth of Hephaestus with a dash of humor, and the gods cheap pick-up lines. "Wanna see my thunderbolt?"
1. Headache is Equal to Wisdom

**A/N: **Sup! I hope I'll make you laugh in reading this fic! :)

BTW, first chapter is just the prologue.

**Disclaimer:** Greek Mythology doesn't belong to me.

* * *

Pain.

That was what the King of the gods was experiencing; a severe pain on his head. It wasn't just an ordinary headache, it felt like there was a giant pounding on his head, and as every minute passed, it became worse. He thought that Metis was getting her revenge, and it was working.

He wanted to lie down on his bed, but he was in the middle of a meeting, and even if he wanted to end this, his wife would give him the death glare. Once a month, a council meeting would be held, and it's an obligation for the Olympians to attend. Last month, it was canceled due to some disturbance, and his wife announced that the next meeting everyone must come, if not, they shall feel her wrath.

And he doesn't want that.

"Zeus."

The god looked at Hera beside him. He saw her raising her eyebrow, and he told her quietly that it was nothing. He looked back to the four Olympians which were Poseidon, Hestia, Demeter, and Ares, who were all waiting for him to speak up.

He was about to say something when his brother signaled him. Their thrones were just beside one another so they can whisper as much as they like, of course, the others will see them.

Poseidon whispered "Zeus, come over to my palace tonight!"

"Why?" His brother has been asking for the past few months to visit his palace at night for some reason.

"It's not the time for this, but just come. You'll enjoy it. I promise!"

"Are their… nymphs?"

"No. It's just the two of us."

Zeus cocked an eyebrow, and his head was still in pain. "What are we going to do if it's just the two of us?" He saw him sat up straight and smiled at him, and to his horror, he was sure he saw his brother wink at him.

Be strong Zeus. You know that your brother is into that kind of…relationships…Be strong. You are the god!

Zeus just gave him a big smile, and then he noticed that everyone was looking at them, especially his wife, and it was ugly.

His son raised his hand and he let him speak. "Hey Pops, why do I have to attend this stupid meetings every month?! What about my sisters?!"

Zeus rubbed his temple to ease the pain while thinking that this was not the time for this. He already has a headache and his son has to complain, like every meeting he had attended, and he and his wife had to explain it numerous times.

Hera answered in a strict tone "Ares, no matter how many times you must ask, the answer will always be the same. You're an Olympian, and your sisters are not. It is your duty to attend to these kinds of gatherings whether you like it or not."

"But Mom!" whined Ares.

Hestia said with a smile "If you become patient dear nephew, Auntie Hestia will make your favorite Roast beef for tonight's dinner."

The young god glared at her. "Don't treat me like a babe!... And I want more potatoes on my plate tonight!"

Demeter rolled her eyes. "He's becoming a spoiled brat because of you, sister!" It was her turn to be glared at.

"Shut up you old hag!" shouted the god.

Poseidon decided to stop this before it turned into a fight. "Stop it you two, and Ares, behave yourself!"

"Everyone, we are in the middle of a discussion over here!" said Hera.

As they started to bicker, they did not notice that Zeus was gripping his head and the look on his face showed that he was at his limit on the pain he was having. He slumped to the floor and cried out in pain. The Olympians were startled and looked at their King.

Hera was quick to her husband and asked "What's wrong dear?! Are you in pain?!"

Zeus' answer was another cry, and everyone gathered around him.

Poseidon asked "Tell us what pains you Zeus!"

The god has his eyes shut tightly but answered with greeted teeth "My- argh! Head! It hurts! Gah!" He slightly opened one eye and looked around. Displayed on one of the columns, Zeus saw a double-headed axe and came up with an idea. "Ares- argh! Son! Get that axe- argh!"

Ares cocked an eyebrow and turned to where it was.

Zeus shouted "Quickly!"

He hurriedly went to get the axe and returned to them. "What the hell am I supposed to do with this?!"

Zeus groaned. "You're the god of war! Gah! Think!"

Demeter exclaimed "He has lost it! We need to get a healer!"

"Argh! No! Poseidon, get our- argh! sisters out of here!"

The god was not in favor of his brother's idea, but still he followed his orders and dragged them out of the room. As he closed the door, he asked "Are you sure about this?!"

Zeus was now on his stomach, gripping the back of his head. "Do it!"

"I can't just kill you, even if you do annoy me." Ares thought for a few seconds and rubbed his chin. "Wait. If I kill you, will that make me the new King of the gods?"

"Ares!"

The young god smirked. "Here ya go!" he said as he swung the axe down on his father's head. Ichor splattered on the axe and floor, and at that moment, light burst from the wound and a war cry was heard throughout the room. Seconds later, the light faded, and Ares and Poseidon found themselves staring at a young, stunning goddess wearing a beautifully made robe and helmet.

Ares, who was gaping, exclaimed "What the hell just happened?!"

The goddess has a curious look on her face and inspected the room and its occupants.

Zeus groaned and sat up while rubbing the back of his head. "Are you really trying to kill me Ar-" His eyes met with the goddess'.

They stared at one another until the latter bowed her head and spoke "Father."

Poseidon went beside his nephew and said "Zeus, you have some explaining to do."

The god stood up and fixed his chiton. "As you may have heard, I am her father." He received stares from the two. "What?"

"We're not dumb, Zeus. Do you really expect us to accept what just transpired right before our eyes?"

He grinned. "Have you been hanging out with Hades lately? You're becoming a lot like him."

Poseidon glared at him. "Don't change the subject."

Ares nodded. "Yeah Dad! And why not a brother?! I have too many annoying sisters already!" He received a glare from the goddess, which he also returned.

"Alright! I'll make this short. I swallowed her mother for a reason which I'm not going to tell you, and let's also add that Hera will kill me if she found out." He saw them look at one another and cleared his throat. "The mother bore our child, my head hurt, Ares here opened my head, she came out and the rest is history."

Poseidon thought he wasn't going to hear anymore no matter how he pushed him so he turned to the goddess. "So, what's her name?"

Zeus looked at her while thinking. Seconds later he snapped his fingers and said "Athena! My dear child, from now on, your name shall be known as Athena."

Athena bowed again. "I accept the name you have bestowed upon me, Father."

Ares snickered and said "It was nice knowing you Dad!"

His father cocked an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

Suddenly, the door burst open and the three goddesses came in. Hera shouted "What is going on in here?!" She looked at each of them until her eyes landed on Athena. They stared at one another, and before her sisters could, she asked "Who is she?!"

Ares laughed loudly as he made his way to his throne. "This is gonna be good!"

Poseidon smirked as he also sat down on his. "I have to agree with my nephew on this."

Zeus started sweating as his sisters looked at him for an answer, especially his wife, who was starting to glare. He gulped and cleared his throat. "This is Athena." His sisters waited for him.

Demeter humphed, guessing who the girl was and took her seat on her throne.

**Three**

He continued. "She shall live here, with us. And she'll be part of this family."

Hestia gasped to herself and whispered "Oh my…"

**Two**

Zeus was sweating so much that a puddle was forming beneath him. He took a deep breath and told himself he was the god! The god of Olympus! And no one gets in his way… or so he thought. "She is my daughter." he quickly said.

Silence. That was what the room felt and everyone held their breath, as they waited for _that_. One of them twitched, and she was giving off an aura that could kill.

**One**

"ZEUS!"

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**Reviews are appreciated. :3**


	2. Here it Comes! BOOM!

A week later, a festivity was being held at the palace to celebrate the birth of the goddess Athena. This was where they would learn what kind of goddess she is. In the past few days, she had been going to the human world, teaching them the wisdom that she held, and Zeus and his siblings agreed to make her one of them. So today was also where it would be announced that she will become an Olympian.

Nymphs were serving hors d'oeuvre to the guests while the Muses played a classical song. The Olympians were busy greeting their guests while also having a quick chat with them.

Poseidon who was trying to talk to the god of sleep, since the latter kept on falling asleep, saw his older brother at the corner of the room, and decided to visit him. "Excuse me, Hypnos." He went to the dark corner and he received a glare. "Brother, you came! Zeus will be glad to see you! Come out of your shell and join the party! You might even find a beautiful nymph to take home, if you know what I mean~."

The Lord of the Underworld was not happy, then again, when was the last time he was happy? A few days ago, he was busy judging those pitiful souls at his kingdom like every day when all of a sudden, Zeus came to his home just to say that he has another bastard and that he must go to this stupid, late birthday party. His brother did the same thing when it was his nephew's, and that really annoyed him because he was sleeping at that time and he woke up to see his younger brother and sister standing beside his bed, watching him sleep. Talk about creepy.

Hades sighed and said "Could you do me a favor?"

"Sure, anything for you!"

He took out something that was wrapped in a black cloth and handed it to him. "Give this to our niece, and tell her and his idiot of a father that I went back to my place for an urgent business."

Poseidon shook his head. "That's not gonna happen." He wrapped an arm on his shoulder and said "Now, about that nymph…"

"I don't need one."

"Don't tell me you're going to stay a virgin! Now c'mon, let's pop that cherry!" he said, while wiggling his eyebrows. *Creepyrapeface*

Minutes later, the couple entered the grand hall, and one of them, was giving off a deadly aura, deadlier than her brother. Zeus was trying his best to ignore this, but it was becoming hard since their guests stopped applauding as they passed by. When they got to the stage, nothing can be heard, and no one dared to try and break the silence.

Zeus gulped and said "E-Everyone, welcome, and thank you for being here today to celebrate the birth of my dear daughter."

Silence.

He cleared his throat and continued "Not only are we going to celebrate her birth, I shall also announce something, but first, let us welcome the celebrant herself, my daughter, Athena!"

The doors opened, revealing the goddess wearing a beautiful himation but with an opening at the left leg. It was their first time seeing her and everyone cheered for the beautiful young goddess as she made her way to the stage. She bowed to the couple and waited.

A ceremony was held, and after finally becoming an official goddess, Zeus announced "Everyone, let's give a round of applause to the goddess of wisdom, law and justice, the arts, and the newest member of the Olympian council, Lady Athena!"

Shouts and cheers filled the room. After that, each Olympian went to the stage to give a welcoming speech, and Hera was against this, even though it was her idea every time a new member was welcomed. Ending with Hera's one sentence speech, Athena went to each Olympian and bowed to finish the ceremony. She was a bit hesitant in bowing to Ares since he was glaring at her, and she made a note to be careful around him in the future. Of course, if she was hesitant with him, then she definitely didn't want to bow to the queen. As she stopped in front of her, she said before bowing "Lady Hera. I shall be at your service."

Hera just tilted her head a bit and glared at her as she walked away. Moments later, she found herself "murdering" potato Zeus on her plate. Another reason why she was so pissed off because after the ceremony, she found Zeus at one of the tables, flirting with a young nymph (pedoalert!) and heard him asked "_Wanna see my thunderbolt?_" *_Nudge, nudge, wink, wink._*

Seriously, thunderbolt? She will freakin' shove that _thunderbolt_ up his ass! Is that how her brothers flirt? Goddesses and Nymphs swoon over them just for some cheap pick up lines? Sweet Chaos! The next thing she'll hear is from Poseidon and he'll go like "_Hey babe, I have a sea worm under here, it's big, bad, long, and it's looking for a cave, if you know what I mean~._"

Argh!

Hera started mashing her mashed potato Zeus again when someone from behind called her. She turned around to see her brother and glared at him. "What?! Are you going to practice your pick up line on me?! Hey sis! Check out my, black mamba! Boom!"

Hades cocked an eyebrow and saw her turned her head back to the plate. He sat on the other side and watched her as she murdered that poor mashed potato.

The silence between them was getting to her and decided to ask "What do you want?!"

"I want out, but the gift giving hasn't begun yet."

"Well you have to wait, just like everyone else. And make sure that your gift isn't dangerous like the last one you gave to my son."

"Today you hate her, but tomorrow you will come to accept her, maybe even as your own."

"Like that will ever happen! I can't even look at those bastard muses!"

"So, what was our brother's excuse this time?"

Hera stopped from what she was doing and said "Oh the typical excuse! There was no one! She just popped out of his head like a little daisy in spring! Like I will believe that shit! I swear he is hiding a b*tch under that ass of his, and I'm going to go in that hole, and dig so deep until I find her!"

Hades smirked (le gasp!) and said "You amuse me little sister."

She crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. "If only our siblings knew the real you, Aidoneus. They will gag."

"We don't want that now, do we? And since we're already at topic, may I remind you that you are the Queen of the gods."

"Yes?"

"May I also remind you that you are our sister."

She rolled her eyes. "Yes."

"And that you can get pregnant in ways other than sleeping with your husband."

She raised an eyebrow and said "Of course I know that! I'm not stu-!" She understood where Hades was getting at, and her face turned sour. "You perverted freak! I am not going to do that with you!"

Hades muttered "Stupidity must really run in this family." He put his leg on the other and said "Little sister, you are the wife and sister of our brother. If he can "magically" produce a babe out of that small brain of his, then you too can produce one out of thin air."

Hera took in all what he said, and an idea quickly formed in her mind. She jumped up from her seat and exclaimed "That's a brilliant idea! You're brilliant Aidoneus! Oh I can already see it! A strong, handsome, and genius son, and he'll be more popular than that Athena! Everyone will love him! And Zeus! Oh Zeus will be jealous! Hohohohohoho!"

"I'm glad to be of help." He rubbed his chin. "Now, about that _black mamba_…"

* * *

**Five months later…**

"Hera, you've gone…"

"Yes?"

"…wider… Yes, wider!" exclaimed Zeus. He noticed that Hera has become… wider. It was not bulging like an ordinary pregnant woman. It just looked like a little bump on his wife's stomach. "Are you… pregnant?" He looked at the white, slender back of the goddess, but when she turned around…

Hera gave Zeus her infamous death glare. "Are you saying I'm fat?!"

"What?! No! What I-"

"Ohhh~! So when it comes to your mistresses they look hot and sexy when they're pregnant with your bastards! But when it comes to me, I look like a fat, disgusting pig!"

"…Are you?"

Her face became rabid. "A fat, disgusting pig?!"

"N-N-No! Are you pregnant?!"

Hera sneered. "Of course not! You haven't slept with me in years! Or are you suspecting me of sleeping with Hades?! I am not that kind of b*tch!"

"Oh… Wanna see my thunderbolt?"

* * *

**Four months later…**

At last, the birth of her son has arrived. It was late in the evening and another celebration was being held at the Palace. Hera excused herself when she felt a pain in her stomach, and it was not diarreah. She went into the woods and did her labor under a big tree. An hour later, her child was born, and Hera tried hard to not faint as she took her crying son from the ground and wrapped him in a soft cloth. She comforted him and smiled that smile that mothers gave to their child.

A mother and her wiggling bundle of joy was a sight to see under the moonlit sky.

Hera went under the moonlight so she can finally see her cute son. But when she unwrap the cloth, her warm smile turned to horror.

There was nothing wrong with her son, his body was that of a normal baby, except for his face. The left side of the face looked somewhat disfigured. It looked like it was burned, but the other side was flawless, and cute. (Phantom of the Opera style!)

The mother did not want him. She did not want it. What will the gods and goddesses say? Zeus produced a beautiful, wise daughter while she, the goddess of marriage and women, produced an ugly baby?!

*cough*

Hera looked at her son, who was coughing. It's sick! It's even weak! No! She was not going to have any of that! She was already an embarrassment to married couples for having an unfaithful husband, and now she would be known to be the mother of this ugly and weak child?!

Never!

She quickly went to the edge of Mt. Olympus, and arriving there, she looked down to see it was a long way down. While looking, she was having second thoughts. During her travel, she did not look at her son, but now, she did.

He opened his eyes and stared at the goddess, and then, he softly smiled at her.

Hera couldn't, she just couldn't. This was her son, her own flesh and blood.

She was about to turn back when she heard someone calling her name. She was startled, and became scared, and her previous thoughts came back. Back and forth, her head turned to the forest and to her son, and alas, she made her decision.

"I'm sorry. Forgive me… Hephaestus."


	3. It's Raining Babies? Hallelujah!

"Thetis, c'mon!"

"Coming!"

Thetis, and her friend, Eurynome, were swimming at the sea. They just came from Mt. Olympus and were heading back to their home. The latter was angry because Zeus, was again trying to get into her robe. "That jerk! And seriously, what the freakin' hell was with that "_Wanna see my thunderbolt?!_" If I was his wife, I would've cut that _thunderbolt_ already!"

Thetis giggled. "I think it's funny."

"Well you have one hell of a sense of humor! I swear if he ever tries to show his _thunderbolt_ again-" She cupped her breasts. "I'll bring out these two, big Mt. Olympus over here and shoot out my nectar! Ratatatatatatata!"

"How about our Lord Poseidon? I saw him talking to you and with one of my nereids today."

"Ohhh~! Don't get me started with him! You know what he said to the poor creature? He said "_Hey babe, you want some sea cucumber with seaweed salad?_" and he wiggled his freakin' eyebrows! And she took it! And you know what's worst? I was there the whole time!"

Thetis giggled as she swam right beside her friend. "They really know how to make pick-up lines."

"_Cheap_ pick-up lines! Let's just hope virgin boy's not like his two idiotic siblings. Then again, babes will be falling from the sky when that happens!"

"Baby!"

"Yeah! Like I said, ba-"

"No Eurynome, there _is_ a baby falling from the sky!" exclaimed Thetis.

The titaness looked up to where her companion was pointing and saw a baby falling. "Sweet Chaos!"

"I know! We have to catch it!"

She looked at her. "That's not it! The Dark Lord has made a really bad, cheap pick-up line!"

Using the sea water around her, Thetis shot herself up into the air and caught the crying little creature. Then she gently brought them down until she was half submerged again in the water. "The poor thing! Shh~. Calm down, I got you."

"Where the hell did it come from?" asked Eurynome as she inspected the sky.

"I don't know…Do you think…?" She looked at her and the latter also returned it. Then they both looked up. "But why?"

Eurynome looked at the baby. "What's wrong with its face?!"

Thetis looked at him and was shocked to see the scared face. She quickly inspected him to check if there were more. "It doesn't look like he was hurt. Maybe he was born with it?"

Eurynome said as she swam away "Born or not, we need to get rid of him. Just put him on the water and let us be!"

"Eury!"

The titaness stopped and turned around. "Girlfriend, someone-" She pointed to the sky. "-up there doesn't want that babe! That means that thing might be a danger so it was thrown down here to die! And you know how angry they get when someone messes with their business! Now drop that babe, and get your ass over here!"

Thetis glared at her. "No! I will do no such thing! If I have to be punished then so be it! But I will not leave this poor, helpless child just to die out here!"

Eurynome was shocked. Thetis never got angry with her, and this was the first, and she hoped to be the last. "Alright, just chill. Let's give it to some nymph or something to take care of it."

She shook her head. "I will be the one to take care of him."

"Don't tell me you're planning to bring that thing to our home!"

"Yes, yes I am. And stop calling him a thing!"

Eurynome rubbed her head and muttered "Sweet Chaos." She thought for a few seconds before saying "I really can't persuade you. Guess I have no choice!" She went to the two and asked "So, what's his name?"

Thetis blinked and looked at the child. She noticed on the cloth, wrapped around it, some small letters. "He… phaes… tus.. Hephaestus!"

"Alright then! Welcome to the family Hephaestus!" Then they heard it cough a few times. "Oh great! He's sick! Perfect!"

"He must be cold! Let's hurry and go home!"

* * *

When they were nearing land, they went to the bottom of a cliff where the waves crashed. There was a high tide so Eurynome had to calm the water and they went to the opening of a cave. The beautiful grotto they lived in was large and wide. There were lights coming from the ceiling which came from the moonlight. At the middle, surrounded by water, was a small like-island where they thought would be the best for the child to stay.

Thetis went over there and looked at her friend, who was gone. "Eury?" The child started crying and she softly shushed him.

"_Come stop your crying __it will be all right__  
Just take my hand__, __hold it tight~_

_I will protect you __from all around you__  
I will be here __don't you cry_~

_For once so-_"

"Are you seriously singing to that kid?!"

Thetis turned around to the titaness who was pulling a wooden cradle. "And just when I was about to get to the good part!... Now I forgot!"

Eurynome placed the cradle at the middle. "I found this the other day. Good thing it was still there. We'll just get him more cloth tomorrow." She saw her friend giggled. "What?"

"Nothing." She gazed at the child. "We'll both be good mothers to little Hephaestus."

"Nope. He's going to call me Auntie!"

"Alright then." She put the sleeping baby in the cradle.

Eurynome watched the sleeping form and said in a low voice "Hey Thetis, I've been thinking. Could he be the son of…"

Thetis looked at her. "But, why?"

She pointed at the sleeping form. "Look at his face."

"Eury!"

"Sheesh girl! I'm just saying! And stop calling me Eury!"

* * *

The song mentioned above is** You'll be in my Heart **by** Phil Collins.**


	4. No Tree Bears Bad Fruits, Only Idiots

**Nine years later…**

It was dinner time at Mt. Olympus. The Olympians were at the dining hall, waiting for a certain goddess before they start dinner.

During those nine years, the once six Olympians have become eleven. Hestia had retired from being an Olympian and gave way to her new nephew. Now, she was studying different cooking techniques and recipes somewhere on earth. Poseidon was at his domain and he only goes to Olympus when needed, so there were only nine at the dining hall.

Zeus was sitting at the head of the table and at his left side were Hera, Demeter, Athena, and skipping to one seat was Artemis. On his right side were Ares, Apollo, Hermes and their newest member, Dionysus. They were one big happy family, or that's what Zeus thought because for his wife, she was in a room full of _bastards_.

It's been twenty minutes after six and still no one has spoken.

Hera breathed deeply. It was always like this every dinner, and they have to wait for that _bastard_! And why was she always late? Well she has to freakin' choose a robe to wear every night which took her three hours! And don't get me started with the make-up!

"DADDY!~"

Oh great. What's the b*tch's problem now?

"DADDY!~"

One day Zeus. One day.

The door to the dining hall slammed open, revealing the _much_ awaited goddess. She ran to her father while shouting "DAAAAADDYYYYY~!" It's like a cat was screeching into their ears.

Zeus sighed and rubbed his head. "What is it now Aphrodite?"

The goddess sobbed. "M-My robe! My robe!"

"What's happened to it?"

Aphrodite showed a_ tiny_ hole on her robe. "It's ruined!" And then she wailed.

Zeus noticed the looks of his children, telling him they were freakin' hungry, and of course, the glare from his sisters. He turned to the sobbing goddess on his lap. "Daddy will get you a new robe tomorrow. So please stop crying and let us eat."

The goddess looked at him and smiled. "R-Really?" She received a nod. "Yay!" She jumped up. "I also want some lilacs from the Elysian fields and new make-up!" She quickly headed for the doors.

"Where are you going?!" asked Zeus.

"To change duh!" she said as she went out, and everyone groaned.

"Why do I have to suffer like this?!" exclaimed Hermes.

Apollo said "You can say that again." Then he felt his stomach grumble. "If this continues, I'll be thin like a stick."

Artemis muttered "That spoiled brat! This is why I'm often late for my nightly huntings!"

"Can we just eat now?!" asked Ares.

Demeter humphed. "Well, well, well! I thought you boys are courting her? If one of you is going to make her your bride, then you better get used to her, especially every night!"

"Ohhh~. I know what you mean, Auntie.~" said Dionysus with a grin on his face. His brothers laughed.

Their Aunt and sisters were disgusted, while Zeus was smirking. Hera glared at him and he cleared his throat. "That's enough boys. Mind your manners."

Minutes later, the goddess returned from her "ordeal" and sat between her sisters, who were glaring at her. During dinner, instead of discussing the usual things like Olympian politics, news from earth or the underworld, they were forced to listen to Aphrodite's rant about her clothes, that she needed more personal servants, how her room is too small and she needed a bigger one, and that Artemis' chest was too flat.

The goddess choked the asparagus she was eating and glared at Aphrodite. "And why is my chest a part of your problems?!" She heard her brothers snicker and glared at them.

Aphrodite said "Well remember last week, when you, Athena and I bathed together at the spring and I touched your breast and it felt like I was touching the marble floor we are stepping on right now-"

"Stop it! Just stop it! One more word about my chest and I'll stab you with this spoon!" Then she turned to her laughing brothers. "And all of you! If you don't want your heads to be displayed in my room, better shut up!"

"Speaking of chests…" She turned to her older sister. "Athena! I still can't believe that you have humungous breasts!"

Now it was Athena's turn to choke the nectar she was drinking. She automatically glared at the goddess beside her.

Aphrodite continued. "They are so big! Well, we have the same size but it's so bouncy! And when I touched it, it's so squishy like a baby's butt! It's like boom! And boom! And if only there's a third one it will be like a boom boom boom!"

Athena was trying so hard to keep her cool and stop herself from stabbing this-, this creature!

At the other side, the boys were red, and they were laughing so hard while ichor gushed out of their noses.

Hera kept on eating while giving Zeus the look. "They're your _bastards_ alright."

Demeter said "Oh come on Hera! We used to do that when Hestia was still with us!" The room quickly filled with protests.

"No! Sweet Chaos no!"

The horror! Oh the horror!"

"Stop it! You're embarrassing me!"

"Ahhh! ~Old, wrinkled, saggy breasts!"

"My mind! My mind! It burns~!"

"Stahp it!"

Demeter and Hera gave them the death glare.

Zeus chuckled. "Oh I remember that! Poseidon and I used to sneak and hide behind the bushes and spy at you girls! We also dragged Hades sometimes from the underworld and make him join us!" He grinned at them.

…

…

Awkward.

Zeus cleared his throat, while avoiding the glares from his sisters. "Aphrodite! Continue with what you were saying! Do you also want some jewelry with those clothes?"

The goddess gasped. "Really Daddy?! Why yes! Yes! I would love some. Well maybe more, but yes! Oh and BTW, have you seen the clothes and jewelries that Eurynome and Thetis have been wearing these past few years?! I want those! They are so b-e-a-utiful!~"

Demeter agreed. "I actually saw them, and she's right. They were beautifully made, and especially the ornaments. The metals and the jewels were combined together so perfectly! And the details! Oh Zeus, if only you have seen them."

"They must be made by a professional jeweler." said Hera, who was intrigue with the jewelry.

"Well, then. We'll just have to call the one who made it and make you goddesses some!" said Zeus.

Athena said "You don't have to, father."

Ares dropped his chicken drumstick on his plate and said "Hey! What about us?!"

He shook his head. "Nonsense! I'm feeling generous! And Ares, you're a god, but maybe he makes weapons or instruments, then we'll see. So Aphrodite, tell Eurynome or Thetis to send that craftsman over here."

"Alas, Daddy! For years I have been trying to get them to tell me where this craftsman is! But those greedy b*tches won't say a single word! They kept on telling me that he seldomly visits them! But I know they know where he lives!"

Zeus rubbed his chin and turned to his son. "Hermes, find this craftsman! Go to Thetis and Eurynome's place tomorrow."

Hermes saluted him. "Yes sir!"

Aphrodite smiled at her brother. "Do whatever you can Hermy poo!~ I'll give you a kiss if you succeed!" Then she winked at him.

The god flashed his seductive smirk. "Like I always say to my ladies, I ride the wind, but you can ride me, baby~."

"Boom!" exclaimed Dionysus. The gods laughed.

"Ugh! That's it!" exclaimed Artemis as she dropped her spoon.

Ares said "Babe! Why ride him when I can stab you with my _dagger_!"

"Boom!" exclaimed Hermes. They laughed again.

Athena muttered "I have, officially, lost my appetite."

"Stab? I'll swing my _light saber_!" said Apollo.

Ares exclaimed while laughing "Boom!" followed by another wave of laughter.

Demeter rubbed her head. "Dear Chaos."

"Bros, bros! You're all too straight!" Dionysus turned to the goddesses. "Ladies, want some of my, _nectar_?" Then he winked at them.

"Oh! Ohh! He went there!" said Ares.

Apollo exclaimed "Oh no he didn't!"

Hermes said in a sassy way "Oh yes he did!"

They were laughing while the goddesses were now really angry and were giving the gods glares of a thousand men, except for Aphrodite, who was so flattered for some reason.

Hera directed hers to her husband. "They really are your _bastards_."

Zeus hit the table a few times to silence them. "Boys, boys! That's enough! I don't want to hear anymore from any of you! Finish your food and go to your rooms! You should all be ashamed of yourselves!… Wanna see my thunderbolt?"

* * *

**JenniePearl2013**: The son of who? - **The son of the Ice Queen! (...Hera)**

**The Blue Priestess: **Isn't Hephaestus supposed to be 'lame' after Hera threw him out of Mt. Olympus? **-True, but there's another myth pertaining to his lameness. Zeus threw him off of Olympus when he was arguing with Hera, and that's how poor Hephaestus lost his leg, well, for me that is. I prefer this story better than the other.**


	5. The Birds and the Bee

**Fun Fact:** This chapter isn't the original one. The original was recently deleted by the idiot writer known as **CK143**.

Do excuse her for she has problems that even the forces of the world could not explain. Thank you and we hope that you enjoy this "rushed" chapter.

* * *

"C'mon Eury~."

"I said get lost!"

"This is an order from his majesty himself!"

"I don't care! Get lost or I'll turn you into a tree!"

"Pfft! Trees are so~ last year! But fine, have it your way, Eury~."

"My name is not Eury!"

The titaness watched as the messenger god flew away into the horizon before heading to the secret passageway to their grotto. As she went in, she muttered to herself "Gotta tell her… they're on to us…" When she arrived, the place that they have been living changed drastically over the nine years.

Some of the holes on the ceiling have been covered so the rain won't pass through, as for the light, coral lamps have been placed under the water to brighten the place. Circling the inside of grotto were crafted ornaments, drachmas, silver, gold, platinum, gemstones, and other precious rocks and metals. And at the islet at the center stood a beautiful bungalow surrounded by tropical plants and a bridge was built to make a path.

Eurynome was headed for the building when she heard someone call her. She turned to see her friend coming from a nearby hidden spring.

"I'm glad you decided to show up. We were getting hungry." said Thetis.

"Well, we need to talk. I'll tell you while we head back." Eurynome started to walk ahead.

The goddess raised an eyebrow and caught up with her. "What's wrong?"

"Hermes showed up."

"Why?"

"He was looking for him… but for another reason. It seems that the Olympians have found out about him, and I'm betting it's Aphrodite who told them. "They crossed the bridge and when they reached the door, they stopped. The titaness breathed deeply and turned to the goddess who was spacing out. She took her by the shoulders and made her face her. "Thetis, we talked about this a few years back."

Thetis gulped and nodded. "I-I know. It's just that… I never thought that this day would come so soon."

"I know it's hard but, he needs to know who he really is." She wiped a tear from her friend's face. "Hey, I always tell you, right? He will never forget us, even if he's famous and have a lot of naked nymphs on his forge! So stop crying, and don't worry, you raised him well."

She smiled. "We raised him well." Eurynome hugged her before they went inside. She went to the dining room and started to set the table when she heard her friend banging on one of the doors.

"Hephaestus! Hephaestus! Get your ass out of that room, mister! Or so Chaos helps me, I will knock down this door and drag your ass out for the hundredth time!" She heard the door being unlocked from the other side, and then it slowly opened to reveal her nephew.

Hephaestus was tall and handsome(excluding the blemished side, of course), has dark-brown hair, red eyes, has a tanned, lean and built body, and he always wore a hood scarf to hide his face.

She swiped the hood from him and said "How many times must I tell you to never wear this when you are in the house! You need to let that head of yours breathe!"

"Alright you two, come over here and let us eat!" said Thetis.

The two went to the dining room and sat down. They ate in silence, and after that, the two cleared up the table while Thetis composed herself.

Eurynome said before going back to the dining room "Hephaestus, after you're done with that, sit down again with us." She sat down beside Thetis and assured her that everything was going to be fine.

Hephaestus came and sat on his chair and waited for them to speak.

Thetis asked "H-Have you taken your medicine yet?" She received a nod. "You'd been coughing last night. We really need to find an expert healer to check on that sickness of yours…"

Eurynome glanced at her long time friend (Yeah right, more like wife!) and nodded before looking at her nephew and said "Hephaestus, we have something to tell you, and whatever we're about to say, your mother and I hope that the way you look and know us won't changed."

Thetis was hesitating, but when she felt the hand of her friend on hers, she made up her mind. "Son, we love you very much, but we need to tell you this secret we've been keeping ever since you were born." She bit her lip before continuing "Hephaestus, I am not your real mother."

He just stared at her, as if he was trying to process this new revelation which he really wasn't expecting in his happy and peaceful life.

Since the silence was overbearing, Eurynome decided to say "And I'm not your Auntie, and we're not really sisters."

That wasn't really helpful.

Hephaestus bowed his head and stood up. He excused himself and went to his room, leaving Thetis crying with Eurynome comforting her.

"Shh~. It's ok, Thet. It'll take some time but, we did the right thing."

* * *

An hour had passed and the two were at the living room, picking some of their old jewelries to sell when Hephaestus appeared out of nowhere and knelt in front of Thetis. He took her hands and looked at her. "Can't I just…keep on pretending…that I'm your son?"

"But you are my son! Always have and always will." Thetis chuckled as she hugged him tightly.

"Well that was fast!" exclaimed Eurynome as she closed the jewelry box.

The goddess slightly pulled him up and made him sit down. "We needed to tell you because you're mature enough to know."

"You must have a lot of questions in that head of yours, but not to worry, we'll tell you everything we know." The titaness cleaned the small table before continuing "First, whatever we are about to say, might sound ridiculous, unbelievable, and that sort of stuff, but remember, this is reality, so we can't do anything about it. So, where should we start…Ah! How we found you. You see, nine years ago, we had just come from a celebration, and were heading back to the grotto when all of a sudden, the sky pooped you out, a wee babe, and Thetis here caught you. Then we decided to take you in and here you are now. The end!"

The goddess rolled her eyes and said "She forgot to mention that she didn't want to take you in at first."

"Hey! That was back then! Besides~ I'm a good Auntie to our Hephaestus! Hell, I think he should call me Father!"

When it comes to his Aunt, Hephaestus wasn't sure to believe her or not. It was like half of what she says is total BS. But, he decided to ask "W-Why?…Why did the sky poop me?" He watched them looked at one another and thought that if they weren't sisters, they must be lovers, because that "looking" has been bothering him for a very long time. He was pulled out from his thoughts when his mother called him.

"Son, do you remember the stories that we told you every night when you were a child?"

He nodded.

"Well, they're not just stories, they really happened. The Underworld, the Olympian palace at Mt. Olympus, and especially the gods and goddesses, the titans, the nymphs, and the ferocious monsters, all of them are real. And Eurynome and I are one of them."

Hephaestus eyes widened and stammered "Y-You're…m-m-monsters?!"

Eurynome exclaimed "What?! Hell no! We're goddesses! Well, Thetis is a sea goddess while I'm the titaness of water-meadows and pasturelands…I know, it sucks."

Thetis said "We are telling you this is because we think that you are one of them."

"…A monster?" said Hephaestus.

"N-No! You are not a monster. What I mean is that you are a god."

"Haven't you ever wondered why you can make all of these things at a young age? Why you can produce fire out of nowhere? Why you almost made a volcano erupt because I forgot to bring your favorite _hammie_(hammer)? And let's go back to your age, you are nine years old but you have the freaking body of a grown-up! I mean, have you seen your manho-"

Thetis cut her off. "We get it Eury!"

She held her hands up. "I'm just saying!"

The goddess sighed and said "Now, another reason why we think you are a god is because of your mother." She noticed him shifting in his seat, eager to hear about her. "Hephaestus, your mother is part of the Olympian council, but she's not just an Olympian, we believe that she is the queen of the gods."

When he didn't answer, Eurynome grinned. "That's right! You're royalty, and everyone will bow down to you."

"At first, I was not sure, but now, seeing you, you really look like your mother."

"Excluding that mark on your face."

"Eury!"

"Anyways~, there's another thing. You see, we have "auras" and gods and goddesses like us can sense them, well, some of them, including me. When I saw you the first time, I sensed the aura of the queen and I didn't want to believe it at first, but by living with you for the past years, I can't deny that you are related to her."

Hephaestus asked Thetis "Can you…sense it?"

She shook her head. "It's complicated but let's just say that I'm still "young", and the fact that I have the blood of a nymph, only those who are very, _very~_ old have the power to do so, like Eury!"

"Do you really have to say it like that?"

"Umm~, so why did… I fell?" asked Hephaestus softly.

Thetis and Eurynome did not speak for they did not know, but for Hephaestus, the silence was already an answer so he stood up, excused himself and went back to his room.

Leaving his mother again, to cry on her friend's shoulder.

* * *

**One month later…**

Ever since he learned who he truly was, Hephaestus has been staying on his wooden shack near the grotto, only going out when needed. Eurynome did everything she can to knock down the door but the shack was specially built by Hephaestus. The only thing she could do was to bring him food every meal time while hearing the clanking sound of the hammer on the anvil.

Today, Eurynome and Thetis were having a picnic at the beach, and the latter kept on glancing at the shack, hoping to see the door open, which it did. She quickly stood up and went to her son. She hugged him while saying "Oh Hephaestus! I'm so sorry!"

He asked "For what?"

She looked at him. "You're angry with us! Are you not?"

He smiled and returned the hug. "Why would I be angry…with the one who raised me as her own?...I apologize for making you worry…mother."

"I'm the one whose angry here!"

They both looked at Eurynome who was glaring at Hephaestus.

"You have a lot of explaining to do, Heffie!"

"…Shit." He said before running away from the enraged titaness.

* * *

"This is why he doesn't leave his room!"

They were at their picnic spot and Thetis was bandaging the head of Hephaestus after his cat-and-mouse chase with his Aunt.

"It's called disciplining! Anyway, what were you doing in that shack for a whole month?!"asked Eurynome.

Hephaestus ate a small loaf of bread before answering "I…made a gift…for her…"

Thetis and her friend looked at each other before the former exclaimed "That's wonderful! It's a good start in building a relationship! When she sees your gift, she'll be so proud of you!"

Eurynome nodded. "Yep! And, when they notice your work, they might make you an Olympian! Which is fine by me cuz' we'll have connections up there!"

"Eury!~"

"Girlfriend, we need some G-I-Bs! Gods in Black!"

She sighed and asked "Hephaestus, what did you make for her?"

They did not see the smirk on his face and only heard "You'll see… Auntie?"

The titaness replied "Yeah?"

"I require…your assistance."

She grinned. "Sure thing! Just tell your ol' Auntie Eurynome what you need!"

* * *

**JenniePearl2013**: But how can they tell it's Hera's son? **– I hope this chapter answers your question. :)**

**The "aura" thing may be confusing but let's just imagine Hera's aura, for example, is the colors of the peacock and her son's color is brown. So if you combine them it will turn into black. (Joke!) His dominant color is brown but the aura of his mother is still there.**

**And where did I get this theory? I just imagined it while doing this crack fic.**


	6. Holy Seat!

**Five days later…**

Late in the afternoon, the messenger god can be seen flying through the air, headed for a cliff. As he flew, he was grumbling to himself. "Hermes, get this! Hermes, get that! Hermes, hide my ass! I am a freaking messenger! Not a slave! Then again, I am called the messenger of the _gods_…" Hermes sighed as he arrived at his destination. He looked around, and seeing no one in particular, he took out a parchment from his pouch and read it.

_To the great messenger god,_

_Tomorrow, late in the afternoon, please come to the cliff where the sun sets. A special package will be waiting for you. _

_P.S. Don't uncover it you little brat!_

Hermes smirked. "Oh Eury~! I know you want me, you know I want you! I know you want me, you know I want you! Even though you're so~ old!" As he started to sing and dance, he hit something hard which made him stumble backwards. "Oww! What the-" He was surprised to see a large object towering in front of him, which wasn't there when he arrived. "Ok then…" He stood up and inspected it. He noticed a piece of paper, which he took and read it.

_To the "Oh So Mighty" messenger god. _

_Take this package to her highness for it is a gift from a lowly craftsman who wishes her all._

_P.S. DON'T YOU DARE UNCOVER IT, HERMES!_

"Hah! We'll see about that!" Hermes put down his Caduceus, took the cloth and tried to pull it off, but he couldn't. With both of his hands, he pulled so hard that his hands slipped and made him stumble back again. "Damn! What is that?!" He stood up and exclaimed "Eury! Are you serious about me carrying this all the way to Olympus?! This is _not_ a package!" No one spoke, so he sighed, strapped his staff to his belt and muttered to himself "Sweet Chaos help me." One of the perks of being a god was having immense strength, well, to some degree. He managed to lift it up and carry it. "If only I knew it was this heavy I would have dragged Ares along! He could lift this with his finger!" He slowly rose from the ground and flew into the sunset, not noticing a hooded figure appearing on the cliff.

* * *

"Special *_pant_* delivery for *_pant* _Lady Hera!" Hermes was at the throne room, and he put down the large object and slumped to the floor. His body was sore from carrying that thing, and he almost wanted to cry. "Mommy!~"

Zeus watched everything from his throne and asked "Hermes, what is that?"

He rolled to his back and stared at the ceiling. "I don't know. I can't pull the cover off. Someone used a crazy magic spell on it…I just want to lie down here, and die."

Suddenly, the door slammed open and Artemis quickly came in, not noticing her little brother on the floor. "Where is Herm-!" She stopped because she felt something weird under her foot. She looked down at the god who has his eyes wide open, and then her eyes lowered to the thing she was stepping on.

…

"…AAAAAHHHHH!" Her scream was heard throughout Olympus. She ran to Zeus and started to sob on his knee. "Father! Oh Father!"

"What? What is it?!"

"I'm- I'm dirtied!" she continued to sob.

Zeus cocked an eyebrow. "Huh?"

"I've been touched!" She wailed.

He was about to say something when Apollo burst into the room. Hermes quickly stood up to avoid the previous episode.

"Sister! What is troubling you?"

Artemis looked at her brother and said "I-, I-, I am not a virgin anymore!"

"What?! Who is this being who touched my sister?!" His voice was full of rage. He went to the throne and comforted her.

One by one, their siblings arrived to see what was going on. Athena asked "What's going on? I just heard Artemis scream."

"I know right~! I was sleeping like a baby when someone disturbed my beauty sleep!" exclaimed Aphrodite.

Ares sneered. "Well Dionysus and I was nymph hunting when that noise scared them away!"

Artemis turned to them and said "I'm pregnant!"

Well that escalated quickly.

"What?!" exclaimed the gods, except for Aphrodite who was laughing. "This is one news that's gonna last for centuries!"

Dionysus asked "Who's the Daddy?"

Apollo nodded. "Yes! Who is this demon that bedded you?!"

Zeus cleared his throat. "Um, Apollo, I think you're mista-"

He stood up and cut him off. "What?! No! Father! How could you?! Even your own daughter?!"

He held his hands up. "Woah! Woah! I did not sleep with her! I swear on the river of Styx! What I'm trying to say is-"

Artemis wailed. "Apollo, it is not him!"

He took her shoulders and made her face him. "Then who is it?!"

"My-, My brother!"

Le gasp!

Everyone looked at Apollo. He was shocked and was staring at his sister, and then he slowly stood up. He has his head bowed until he looked up and shouted "Curse this body! How could I have lived these past few days with this sin I did not know that I have been carrying?!" He looked down to his weeping sister. "Artemis, I know that you can never forgive me. I shall go into exile, and when the day comes that I return, I shall castrate myself and serve it to you as a token of my sin. For now, please take care of our unborn child."

Artemis wanted to shoot her brother so hard, in the head, with an arrow. "Apollo, you are such an idiot! I am not talking about you! I am talking about our other brother!"

He glared at his brother. "Ares!"

The god was shocked. "What?! Why me?!"

"Not him!" said Artemis.

Apollo asked "Dionysus then?"

"Nope." said the god as he popped a grape into his mouth.

"Then who-" His eyes snapped to the god beside the large object. "Hermes!" The said name filled the room. Apollo strode over to the god and took him by the collar. He was one angry god. "You traitor! I trusted you! How could you betray me?!"

"B-Bro! L-Listen! I didn't do anything to her! I was just-"

"You what?! You desecrated her body?! If she is to lay with someone, it would only be me!"

Hermes stopped struggling. "What?! Bro, she's your- Oh yeah! Incest is a thing in this family! Pfft~!"

"How dare you mock me!"

"Enough!" shouted Zeus. All his children turned to him. "Apollo put down your brother! I shall tell you what had happened!" Apollo obeyed him and let the god go. Zeus cleared his throat. "Look, Hermes came into the room with that heavy object and slumped to the floor. Then Artemis here quickly came in without seeing Hermes. So she stepped on his… his… "thing" which led to the scream." He looked at his daughter. "Artemis dear, you are not pregnant."

"I'm… still a… virgin?"

He nodded. "Yes, you are still a virgin."

Artemis cried, this time it was tears of joy.

"And just when it was getting good." said Aphrodite as she crossed her arms.

Athena thought to herself that she was in a room full of idiots.

Apollo sighed and turned to Hermes. "Sorry about that."

He put his arms at the back of his head and grinned. "No biggie."

"So, what is this?" asked the god as he turned to the large object.

Hermes was about to answer when the doors opened to reveal Hera and Demeter. The former asked "What is going on?"

The messenger god flew to her and bowed. "My lady, I have a package for you."

Hera raised an eyebrow. "Really?" She was led to the large object, as the others made way for her.

"Here it is. There was no name on the paper it came with, but it said that it is a gift from a lowly craftsman who wishes you all."

She nodded. "Uncover it then."

He scratched his head. "Uhh, you see my lady, I tried to but… I couldn't. A spell must have been cast on it."

Hera raised an eyebrow again, and decided to try and pull it off, and she did. A light shone upon them, filling the room and blinding them for a few seconds until it faded away. They saw what was under the cloth, and it made them gaze upon it. It was a throne made of white gold and the design was perfectly done. The color of the jewels was those of a peacock, the sacred animal of the queen. It was a perfect throne for her, and she has to agree that it was the best gift she has ever received. She looked around to see the others gazing at her gift. She smirked and said "Ares, get rid of my old throne and place this one."

Ares was snapped back into reality and exclaimed "Why is it always me?!"

"Because you're the strongest here."

"But-"

"Now!" she cut him off, earning a glare from him, but he obeyed.

Ares grumbled as he went to where his mother's throne was, carried it and put it at a corner. Then he went to the other throne, carried and placed it beside Zeus' throne, which looked like an old chair comparing to the new one.

Hera strode to her throne like a queen she is and before sitting on it, she turned to her husband, smiled in a mocking way and asked "Do you like it my dear?" She was taunting him.

Zeus was envious. Really envious. Why didn't he have a new chair? It's not fair! He watched her sit on it, and it made her look more powerful than him, which is bad though.

As for the others, some of them were also envious, while the others were still mesmerized by the shining glory of the throne.

The throne she was sitting on has a soft cushion which has her name on it. So she basically has her ass on her name, but that did not bother her. Hera was freaking happy. For once, someone remembered her as not the wife of Zeus, but as the queen of the gods. She made a note to herself that she must find and bring her benefactor to Olympus and make him her own personal craftsman, but first, she was going to finish heating her cushion with her butt. Yes. Rub it. Rub it Hera!

Make it burn!

And did the gods and goddesses notice her wiggling on her throne? Yes. Yes they did, but they were not going to question about it.

Suddenly, she felt something encircle her wrists, and then her lower stomach. She looked down to see what had happened; she was trapped. "What the-!" She tried to pull her body away but she couldn't, the pieces of metal held her tightly. She looked at her husband. "Zeus! What are you looking at?! Do something!"

Zeus jumped from his throne and pulled her.

"You're hurting me! Get rid of these!"

He tried to pull the metal cuffs, but they would not budge. He turned to his son. "Ares, help me!" He went to them and they pulled it, but the result was still the same.

Ares grunted. "This thing is just a piece of cake!" He pulled so hard that he slipped and fell to the floor.

Zeus looked at his children and said "If any of you can get Hera out of her throne, more desserts every night for one year will be rewarded to you!"

They quickly rushed to Hera, except for Demeter and Athena, she was to cool for that even though she wanted the reward. They pulled her which earned them a shout. They decided to do it one by one until it was Dionysus' turn. Hera noticed he has a bottle of wine with him, and was about to pour it over her when she exclaimed "What are you doing?!"

Dionysus halted and simply said "I'm gonna pour this over you."

"And why would you do that?!"

He grinned and said "So you would become slippery enough to slide out of this throne, and get my desserts!" No one really knew what goes on in the mind of the grape god.

"Be gone! I do not want to bathe in your wine!" She sighed. Zeus' mistresses must be getting their revenge. At the corner of her eyes, she saw a slip of paper half hidden under her throne. She quickly said to Zeus to get and read it, which he did.

_To her highness, the queen of the gods,_

_I hope that you liked the gift I have sent for you. It is small, but please think of it as a token of my appreciation. As for why I did not state my name, you already know who I am._

_I am a part of your past._

_XOXO_

"If I already know who he was then I would have blasted him already with my voodoo magic!" shouted Hera, and if it was possible, steam was coming out of her ears.

Aphrodite laughed. "Dearest Hera~. Don't you see? You're being punished for being a meanie to us! Lololololololol!"

Demeter asked "What is with that ludicrous laugh?"

"You like it? Its' easy Auntie~! It's just "lol" then laugh it out loud! Lolololololol!"

"You sound like a retard." said Artemis.

Hera cleared her throat out loud. "Excuse me, but can we get back to my current situation?!" She turned to the messenger god. "Hermes! From whom did you get this blasted throne?!"

He scratched his head. "Well, you see my lady, I just got that from a cliff. A letter was sent to me telling me to go to the cliff where the sun sets and a package was waiting for me. Then I found another letter telling to deliver that to you."

"Do you have any idea who wrote these letters?"

"Well~, I do actually. It's the titaness, Eurynome."

"Eurynome? But she couldn't make such a thing." said Zeus.

Hera was trying to piece everything together. The throne, the letters, Eury…

_I am a part of your past._

A part of my past… part of my past… No! It couldn't be… but… could it be him?

"Hermes! I want you to go to Eurynome and Thetis' place, but don't show yourself. See if they have a male companion living with them. I don't care if it takes you days!"

"But-"

"Go now!"

Hermes was confused, but he just bowed and left.

Hera looked at her husband. "Zeus, I want to be left alone."

"But-"

"Leave me!"

Everyone scurried outside, and when the doors slammed closed, Hera was left to her thoughts.

Could it really be him? It's been nine years already…

Then, the discarded memories of that day came back to her in a flash. Every scene was vivid and clear, like a dream, though it was not. For all of it happened on one cold evening, and it made a tear fall to the floor.

* * *

**The Lord of War:** Is there any pairing in your story? **- I don't know how to explain it but the romance is somewhat "vague". There are hints, but... yeah... Anyways~, I'm trying to follow the original myth as much as I can, meaning the pairing is between Hephaestus and Aphrodite... in a way... you'll see in the next few chapters. :)**


	7. May The Odds Be Never In Your Favor

**Three days later…**

The queen of the gods has been spending three days on her "magical" throne. That included sleeping and eating, and yes, she was spoon-fed by the nymphs like a babe. If a part of her itched, the nymphs had to scratch it to their dismay. And it's a good thing they don't produce body waste, because the nymphs would not drill a hole under the throne, place a bowl, and take it back to see "ambrosia" and "nectar". Also, they will need to wipe her ass.

Nope! That will be the last straw!

And the fact that it will be freaking awkward for the queen to be pooping rainbows and sunshine in the throne room, especially when someone comes in unannounced. For example:

_*Door slams open*_

_Hades: Hera, I love you!_

_Hera: Oh my Chaos, Hades! Can you not see that I'm pooping?!_

_*PRUUUUUT!*_

_Hades:…_

Yes, that would have been very awkward.

She could have busied herself with her work but, her thoughts were elsewhere. Her husband had to call her a few times before she responded.

"Hera!"

The goddess blinked and looked at him. "What?"

"You're daydreaming again."

"I told you, I am not daydreaming. Anyway, where is that _bastard _son of yours?" asked Hera as she watched him sit on his throne.

"You tell me."

The doors opened wide and seconds later, they felt a breeze, signaling that the messenger god was here. He flew into the room and stopped at the bottom of the stairs. He bowed and said "My lady, I have news."

"And?"

"Just like you have expected, there is another being living with them. For two days, I had been seeing Thetis and Eurynome bring a basket every meal time to a small shack along the beach. I decided to wait until whoever was living in their came out, but he only did so today, and he went to a hidden cave where the two has been using. So it is confirmed that they have a male companion living with them."

Hera thought for a few seconds before asking "What does he look like?"

Hermes glanced the other way and rubbed his chin. "Umm~… Now that I think about it, he wore a hooded scarf, so I wasn't able to see it… but I'm pretty sure it's a male cuz' his built was like Ares'."

Zeus turned his head to his wife and asked "Are you certain that he is the one who made the throne? He could be just Thetis or Eurynome's son."

It was her turn to turn her head, and it was like one of those head turns that they do in horror movies. "Or maybe, he's one of your _bastards_!"

Hermes twitched.

"But no, I have this gut feeling that he's the one." Then she muttered. "Though I have to see his face…"

Zeus leaned closer. "What?"

Hera, in a strict tone, commanded the young god "Hermes, call your brothers and sisters immediately, and tell them that they need to be here in five minutes. I don't care if they're too busy with their work, they'll just have to follow my orders. If not, I will cut back their allowances, including yours."

His eyes became wider. "But, you already cut back our allowances a week ago!"

FYI, Zeus and his siblings were the rich ones. The younger gods and goddesses were depending on them for money (yeah, they're poor :P), well, for Hera, they were more like leeches.

"And I will if you don't-" she was cut off when the god quickly flew out.

Zeus was about to say something when he decided to just keep his mouth shut. He doesn't want his allowance to drop to none.

Minutes later, the gods and goddesses were all assembled at the throne room and waited for what their _evil_ stepmother has to say.

Zeus stood up, his wife said to him what needed to be done, and the fact that she was day dreaming again made him her spokesperson. "Alright, I'll make this quick. Hermes here has confirmed that Thetis and Eurynome have a male companion living with them, and Hera here believes that he's the one who sent this gift. The seven of you has a mission, and that is to convince the craftsman to free Hera from this throne. She also said that there will be a reward to whoever succeeds."

Ares asked "What's the prize Pops?"

"Well, she left it to me, so I guess it's the same as last time, more desserts every dinner for one year."

Aphrodite complained "Why do we need to do the dirty work?"

Zeus looked at Hera who was gazing at the floor. He waved a hand on her face; none. Hera never told him why they were the ones who needed to do this, but decided to just answer "Well, I really don't know…" An idea popped into his head. "You know what, let's add another prize. Apart from the desserts, the winner's allowance will be tripled!"

And all questions were erased from their minds on what they heard. If getting that craftsman to come with them to Mt. Olympus and free their queen was a way to triple their moolah, then so be it. The younger gods quickly rushed out, leaving the couple.

The King of the gods sighed and sat on his throne. He was about to close his eyes when someone asked "What are you still doing here?" He turned to his left to see his wife raising an eyebrow at him. "I don't get-"

She cut him off. "Look, go with them. Someone needs to watch them, besides, I'm fine. The nymphs will take care of me."

"Wait, you've been listening?"

"Half of it, anyway just go! And I want him alive. If Ares brings me a corpse you will be the next one!"

"But, I have things to do!"

"Like what?!"

"…Stuff."

"Go!"

Zeus sighed, stood up, and went to the door, leaving Hera in her "vegetable" state.


	8. Game of Clowns

Along the shore, seven beings can be seen hiding behind the bushes. They were watching the small shack, waiting for someone to come out.

"Hermes, is that the place where that famous blacksmith lives?"

The god nodded and answered "You got that right, Apolloski!" I asked a few of the beings and all of the clues lead here."

"Eww~! It looks like a dump!" exclaimed Aphrodite.

"Father, what are doing here exactly?" asked Artemis.

Everyone looked at Zeus, who scratched his head. "Hera told me to watch over all of you and to make sure to bring that craftsman alive. Your stepmom has gotten more grumpy ever since she got stuck on her throne."

"Tch! She's always moody!" said Ares.

"I guess you're right. Besides, I think it's best I leave her alone from time to time. Whenever it's just the two of us, she stares into space, making me feel like I'm sitting next to a rotting dead body."

Athena shushed them. "Everyone, here comes Eurynome."

The said goddess was headed for the small shack. She stopped at the doorstep and shouted "Heffie! Heffie!"

Eurynome was doing her favorite hobby, which was banging on the door of her nephew's shack. The god skipped breakfast and lunch so she brought him a basket with bread and meat for a hearty meal. "If you don't open this-" The door opened and Hephaestus came out. "Hmph. Seriously, when you go back home, you need to be punctual!" She handed him the basket.

Hephaestus took it and replied "But…I'm already home…"

"What I mean is back at Olympus! You need to be exactly at the dinner table on time. Those Olympians won't start if one of them is not there yet."

He muttered "I'm not…going there…"

"What?"

He shook his head, and was about to go back, when something caught his attention. From the corner of his eyes, he saw eight beings behind the bush. It took him a second to know who they were and just went back to his shack.

Athena narrowed her eyes. "I think he sees us."

Aphrodite laughed. "Lolololololol! You're so funneh~! Mortals can't see us! We're too beautiful for them!"

She ignored her but muttered "If they saw you, they'll burn from your idiocy."

Hermes clapped his hand. "So, who goes first?"

The seven of them looked at one another, waiting for someone to say "I volunteer! I volunteer as tribute!"

Aphrodite waved her hand. "Hmph! Come on now, go and do your thing! Save the best for last, which is moi! Now go, and shine bright like my forehead!"

"Your forehead? You mean like a diamond, right?" said Apollo, cocking his eyebrow.

She gave him a smile that lights up the world like nobody else~. "Oh Apollo! You must admit, I shine more than a diamond!"

He took her hand, kissed it, and gave her his killer smile. "Of course my lady, we shall shine bright like your forehead."

"Oh Chaos, you've got to be kidding me!" exclaimed Artemis.

Zeus sighed, and thought that he needed to intervene. "Alright look, Ares, you go first."

The god snapped his head to his Father. "What?! Why am I always the one being picked?! And besides, he can't see us!"

"He does. He can see us, though I don't know why…" Athena was lost in her thoughts.

"See or not just convince him, but, don't force him or kill him." said Zeus.

"Tch!"

"Do you want that prize or not?"

He was about to retort, but decided to head to the shack while grumbling. He heard his Dad say "When you hear five knocks on the door, that means your time's up!"

* * *

When Hephaestus heard his door being slammed open, he knew that one of them did it. And he also knew that he or she was breathing down on him, which was starting to annoy him. He composed himself and turned around to see a nipple.

Great, just great. Whoever this god is, he shall always remember their first meeting where his face was close to this dude's chest.

Seriously, get some clothes on.

Hephaestus looked up to see a handsome face with a scar. If looks could kill…

"…Yes?"

Ares smirked and said "Hello there, Heffie!"

"…It's Hephaestus…"

"Whatever! Look, you already know why I'm here! Come back with me, free my Mom from that throne, and I'll never see your face ever again!" Ironic cuz' the craftsman was wearing his hooded scarf that hid his face.

"No." He turned to his desk and started to work.

Ares glared at the craftsman, he turned him around and took him by the scarf. "I gotta say, you trapping my Mom is freaking funny, but no one messes with me! I am Ares! The god of war! And if you don't come with me, I will rip you to pieces!"

Hephaestus tried to pull himself away from the grip as he said "I heard about you…you're all talk!"

The god growled and let him go with a push. He took a few steps backward and said "Talk huh?! We'll see about that! With your puny body, I'll break your bones at wrestling!" The only thing Ares was wearing was a "_Man-skirt_" and he took it off in a swipe of his hand and threw it on the ground, leaving him naked.

Hephaestus eyes widened and stammered "P-P-Pervert!"

"What?! Screw you! Now get your ass over here and I'll pound it!"

Nope. That's not going to happen, he rather die being a virgin than being pummeled in the ass by this pervert! And what's worse, he might be his brother!

An incestuous, perverted freak!

He was so into his thoughts that he only noticed the god charging at him and tackled him to the floor. He felt an arm wrapped around his neck, but he was more worried about something else.

"Can you feel it?! I call it "The Ares' dagger grip!"" said the god as he tightened the grip.

Hephaestus can feel it alright, it was stabbing him in the ass! "Get your _dagger_… off of me!"

Ares laughed. "Hah! Take it! Take it you pussy!"

Sweet Chaos, he was being man raped! AAAHHHHH!

A knock on the door both stopped from their struggling. Ares exclaimed "Screw this!" He stood up, picked his "_Man-skirt_" on the floor and went out.

Hephaestus was still on the floor, and he was a bit confused, but at least his butt was safe. He heard a slap, and then Ares bickering with someone at the other side of the door as he stood up. He sat on his chair, and was about to turn when the door opened again to reveal a beautiful goddess, with her wisdom shizz~ emitting from her.

She walked inside and stopped a few feet away from him. "Greetings, I am known as Athena. Do excuse my brother for his idiotic actions."

He nodded and said "…Hephaestus…" He was stunned not by the beauty, but by the way she spoke, like what a goddess should be. He heard from his Aunt that the Olympian gods were idiots, and only a few of them are worth talking to.

"My brother must have already told you, we request from you to release the queen from her bondage." Then she muttered "And to free us from her wrath."

Hephaestus may be impressed, but he was not going to budge. "Sorry…but no." He turned to his desk.

Athena tilted her head. "May I query you on why you did such thing?" She did not received an answer, and was about to ask again when something caught her eyes. At the corner of the desk, a small, wooden bunny can be seen. It was painted in white, and there were three black dots which served as the face.

IT. WAS. SO. FREAKING. CUTE!

It was so simple yet, it was a work of art! Only skilled hands can make those wooden figurines! And Athena was not exaggerating, she was too cool for that. And she was so not into that wooden bunny, even though the whiteness looked like the soft fur of the real one. And that nose!

Sweet Chaos the nose!

She was snapped back into reality when Hephaestus called her. She blinked, and then noticed that she was beside the craftsman, her hand a few inches away from the bunny.

No, Athena! Control yourself! You are a goddess! You don't like cute things! You HATE cute things!

Athena pulled her hand back and cleared her throat. "I was just…"

Hephaestus stared at her and looked at the wooden bunny he made. It was one of his first creations, which he actually forgot was there. He took and handed it to her. "…You can have it…"

No! Don't you dare Athena! Don't you dare!

She couldn't speak, and her hand automatically reached for the figurine. It was like she was being controlled.

STAHP IT!

It was now on her palm, and the head was faced to her. She thought that it was going to move, wiggle its nose, jump off, and they will do the cha-cha.

Curse you Hephaestus!

Suddenly, someone outside said "Oh Athena dahling!~ It's my turn!"

The goddess was not in the mood to strangle her sister. She may have lost this battle, but at least she got the bunny. The bunneh! She turned to him and said "Thank you for this token I shall cher- take good care of it. It was nice meeting you, Hephaestus."

He nodded and watched her walk to the door. He turned to his desk, not wanting to see who the next one was, because from the voice they heard, it was really irritating to the ears.

The door was slammed open again. Hephaestus heard the goddess stopped at the middle of the room and cleared her throat. He sighed, turned around and seeing the goddess, he was mind-blown.

She's beautiful! So freaking beautiful! She's the epitome of beauty! Like Wow! Like- ASDFGHJKL!

Aphrodite was smiling as she thought that this was a piece of cake. Speaking of cake, she was going to have a lot of it tonight. "Peasant, you may know me as the most beautiful goddess of Olympus, Aphrodite!"

Hephaestus thought that it was a wonderful name for such beauty. It was like Afro, with a "dite".

Afrodite. It's perfect!

The goddess smirked "I know, you're so amazed by my beauty!~ Lololololololol!"

That voice! Oh that sweet-sounding voice! And that laugh! Sweet Chaos she has an angelic laugh! Her companions must really enjoy laughing with her!

And then reality hits him. This creature in front of him will never like him. It's a good thing his face was hidden, because he doesn't want to see horror etched on her perfect face.

Ah Hephaestus, stop hoping for the impossible and get back to your work. Besides, at least it's free to dream.

He turned to his desk, which made the goddess frown.

How dare he turn his back on her! Aphrodite looked around and saw a stool. She dragged it beside him, and instead of sitting, she uncovered her leg and brought it on the stool.

Hephaestus was aware of the shining leg beside him. Temptation was creeping into him and he gulped. Focus. Focus. Focu- Is this what they call an erection?

Aphrodite smirked, he was taking the bait. "Oh Hephaestus~, if you come back with me to Olympus and free my stepmonster, I'll show more of _these_.~"

How many legs does she have?

"No…" and he went back to his work.

No?! No one says no to Aphrodite! She was about to say something when another wave of knocks was heard. "What?! It's already time?! Argh!~" She turned to him. "Please~ Heffie! Come with me!"

"…No…"

"Argh! Fine then!" Aphrodite strode to the door. "I shall remember this!" she said as she slammed the door closed.

Hephaestus rubbed his temple. Who was next on the list? He heard the door slammed open again, and he thought that he needed to lock it next time.

"Hello there!"

He turned his head to see two beings. He thought that they looked similar to one another.

"Hey!~ I'm Artemis!"

"And I'm Apollo!"

"And we are the Olympian twins!" they said in unison.

Wow. Should he clap or something? And what's with the "A" names? Does the King of the gods has an "A" fetish?

Artemis looked at her brother. "Let's do it, brother!"

Apollo nodded. "Right back at you, sister!"

For some reason, music came out of nowhere, and the two faced him. Then they started to do an exhibition. They dance, twirled, flipped, rubbed their butts at one another, etc. Hephaestus has to admit, it was a pretty good routine, and Apollo was dancing elegantly, and he gives him a perfect ten. While Artemis gets a one- no scratch that, he gives her a big, fat zero. She was dancing like a robot and making faces like a fish. Seriously, who was the female in here?

It ended with Apollo carrying his sister, and they were looking at him with a smile on their faces. The only reply he could give him was "…No."

"What?! We worked hard on that!" exclaimed Artemis as she was put down.

Apollo rubbed her shoulders. "It's alright sis, you danced like a beautiful flower in spring."

Yeah right. You danced like a brick.

"Our time is up." Apollo turned to Hephaestus. "Please do consider freeing our Queen." Then they left.

For the first time, he thought about on what he said. Minutes later, another knock on the door distracted him. Whoever it was, he or she was not coming in so he stood up and went to the door. He opened it and saw the messenger god.

"Good evening, sir. Do you have time to talk about Zeus?"

Hephaestus closed the door, locked it, and went back to his sanctuary.

Hermes on the other hand, knocked a few times before giving up and went back to their hiding place. "I did my best, but I guess my best wasn't good enough."

Zeus asked. "What did you say to him? You didn't even go in."

"I said that we were going to talk about you, and then he closed the door on me."

"Why do you even want to talk about me?"

Hermes just grinned.

"Hey, where's Dionysus?" asked Ares.

Apollo said "Now that I think about it, I haven't seen him since this morning."

Athena replied "He said to me he'll catch up to us. He's going to visit a friend of his."

Zeus rubbed the back of his head as he said "But it's almost evening! Anyways, we need the blacksmith to come back with us."

"I almost had him if it weren't for Artemis!" exclaimed Aphrodite.

"My fault? How's that my fault?! We were just following father's instruction! And why just me? Apollo was there too!"

Apollo held her sister. "Calm down, Sis."

Zeus was pinching the bridge of his nose. He thought that they were not getting anywhere, and decided to step in. "Everyone, since Dionysus is still not here, I'll take it from here."

"But Dad! That's not fair! You're not part of this!" exclaimed Ares. They all agreed with him.

"It's not like I'll get the reward or anything. Now stay here." He headed for the shack. When he arrived, he blasted the door with electricity and went in.

Hephaestus had a feeling that one of them would blow up his door. He decided to just get this over with when he saw the god come in.

Zeus coughed. "Stuffy place you got here." He looked around before looking at the owner. "Hephaestus, right? I'm Zeus." He held his hand out to him.

Hephaestus took and shook it. "…I know why… you're here…"

He grinned. "And the answer?"

"…No."

"Well, from what I've heard from my children, your answers the same." Zeus thought beforehand that he can scare the shit out of him with his thunderbolt, but that's like forcing him. Hera said to not force him because it'll make things more difficult.

Wait. Yes! The thunderbolt! Zeus, you are a genius! If his brothers were here, they'll praise him with all the glory!

He said "I'll give you a deal, if you come with me, and free my wife, I'll let you see my thunderbolt. Still not enough? Then I'll let you see and touch my thunderbolt."

Hephaestus could not believe what he heard from Zeus. If he frees his mother, he'll get to see the thunderbolt! Zeus' thunderbolt! The legendary weapon that defeated the Titans! A lot of his fellow blacksmiths dreamed of seeing it. And here he was, being offered by the wielder himself, well, with a certain price, but still- Gah! And he said he could touch it! Touch Zeus' thunderbolt! AAAHHHHH!

Zeus smirked. He knew the wants of his kind, and that was the weapon he wielded. He got this one in the bag. Booyah!~

"So, Hephaestus, wanna see my thunderbolt?" He wiggled his eyebrows for effect.

"…T-The thunderbolt?" said Hephaestus softly.

He nodded. "Yes. The thunderbolt."

"…_the_ thunderbolt?"

"Yep."

"As in yours?..."

"Yup."

"…_Your_ thunderbolt?"

Yes. Wait. Are they talking about the same one? Because there was _the_ thunderbolt, and there was Zeus' thunderbolt. "Uhh~, excuse me for a sec, but are we talking about the same thunderbolt?"

Hephaestus was confused. What was he talking about? Of course they were talking about the same thing. But wait! Could there be…two thunderbolts?

Le gasp!

"…W-What do you mean?...There are…two?"

Zeus scratched his head. "Well kind of, sort of, in a way… What are we talking about?"

"…You'll let me see… and touch your thunderbolt… if I come with you…"

"Right, right. Touch my…thunderbolt...We're talking about the weapon, right?"

He nodded. "Yes… Is there another kind…of thunderbolt?"

Zeus forced a grin. "No. Anyway, never mind that. So, do we have a deal or not?"

It was freaking temptation. He was about to say yes when he mentally slapped himself. He needed to be stronger than this. "I'm…sorry." He then went to his chair and busied himself.

Bye-bye thunderbolt. One day, I'll hold and caress you. One day.

Zeus sighed and thought that he almost got him. He went out and headed back to his children. He noticed Dionysus was there and asked "Where have you been?"

He smiled. "I went to get something from a friend." He held out a wine bottle. Typical.

He rolled his eyes. "Alright, just go over there and try to persuade him. Hermes will get you when your time is up. And if you fail, then I guess we have no choice but to force him to come with us."

Dionysus chuckled. "Don't worry, I got this." He skipped to the shack. He did not need to knock since the door was in pieces on the floor. He just went in and said "Hi!"

It will never end!

Hephaestus has lost count on how many sigh he did in one day. He again turned to see who the smiling god was.

"Hi~."

"…Hi."

Dionysus took out a bottle of wine and a chalice. He then placed the latter on the table and poured some wine on it. He took and gave it to Hephaestus. "Bottoms up!"

Hephaestus watched the god drink the wine in the bottle. After he was finished, he threw it behind him, which smashed on the wall.

"That was delicious!"

"Umm~…Who are you?" asked Hephaestus.

He chuckled. "Oh yeah, I'm Dionysus. Now, let's stop talking and start drinking!"

The blacksmith looked down to the cup of wine and shook it a bit to see the liquid moving.

"C'mon! It's the best, I promise! Look-" He brought out two more bottles. "-I still got some more! We can drink all night!"

Hephaestus was hesitating. He never had wine before. He always wanted to try one but Eurynome forbade him. Nevertheless, he was curious, so he decided to just take a sip…

And Boom! He dropped dead.

It took Dionysus five minutes to realize on what has happened. He checked the bottle he held and said to himself "Wow. This stuff is strong. Oh well, more for me!" And then he drank it.

"Hey Dionysus! Time- What the-!, What did you do to him?!" exclaimed Hermes as he stared at the body on the floor.

"Poison."

"Poison?! You poisoned him?! You weren't supposed to kill him!"

"No. That's what the wine is called, Poison… well, that's what my friend calls it."

They heard a groan which came from the craftsman. Dionysus chuckled. "See, he's just drunk."

Hermes sighed. "Wait! How can he be drunk? How many cups did you even gave him?"

"One. And he didn't even finish it." He looked at the spilled wine on the floor. "Poor wine."

"Let's just get him out of here." They took each of his arms, hoisted him and they went out.

Apollo saw them and said to the others. "Hey, they got him. But it looks like something happened."

When they arrived, Zeus asked them "What did you do to him?"

"He got drunk." answered Dionysus with a smile.

Hermes rolled his eyes. "More like killed him."

"Does that mean Dionysus won?" asked Ares.

Their father replied "Not yet. Hephaestus still needs to free Hera. Alright, time to go back. I'll wait all of you at the throne room." He vanished, leaving a trail of glitters.

"That's fine with me!~ If Dionysus wins, he'll give me some of his desserts!" She made a cute face at her brother. "Right Dio~?"

"Argh! Stop with the flirting already! I'm going back to Olympus!" exclaimed Artemis, then she was gone in a flash.

"She's just jealous!" Aphrodite also transported back.

One by one, they disappeared, until it was only Apollo, Dionysus, and the drunken Hephaestus. The former said "See you."

"Tell Dad that I'll be there in a couple of weeks."

"What?!"

"I still can't teleport with someone."

"Oh." He rubbed his chin. "Well, I still can't transport two people with me to Olympus, it's too high for me. But…I can transport you two at the base."

He grinned. "I'll take the offer then. I left two donkeys there last week."

"Alright, be careful then." Apollo snapped his fingers and they were gone, to the void beyond.

* * *

**A/N:** **Man-skirt:** There was this type of clothing during their time but I don't know what's it called. :P


	9. Revenge is Best Served with Wine

"Hey there Jack! Ass!"

Dionysus happily greeted his donkeys as he carried Hephaestus to one of it. And why did he call them Jack and Ass? When he got them, Ares said they were jackass and that day forward he decided to call it Jack, and the other being Ass. He was so lucky to have such a wonderful brother like Ares.

He put him on the back of Ass, and then he got on Jack, and they went their way. An hour later, he noticed that Hephaestus was starting to wake up. He grinned and said "Hey~! You're awake! Good! Cuz' I was getting bored!"

Hephaestus couldn't form coherent words because he was still drunk.

Dionysus was thankful he still was because he would've used his wine bottle to hit his head. "So~. What should we do? We still have a few hours before arriving at the palace."

"…Nu…hert…"

"Huh?"

"Wa… sung…"

"Sung? Song! Of course I'll sing you a song! But, you need to sing with me, alright?"

"Uh…Kay…"

Suddenly, music came out of nowhere and Dionysus cleared his throat. "_Every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by__.~ E__very now and then I get a little bit __terrified and then I see the look in your eyes.~"_

**"**_…awound… biht ice…_**"**

" Yeah! You know that song?_ Every now and then I fall apart!~"_

"_Tun… awond bite… eyes!" _

"_Every now and then I fall apart!~ And I need you now tonight__! __And I need you more than ever!~"_

"_An if you'll owy holt me tite… __w__e'll be holting on… poreber!~"_

"_And we'll only be making it right, cuz' we'll never be wrong, together__ w__e can take it to the end of the line,__ y__our love is like a shadow on me all of the time!~"_

"…_I don now whut to do… and em aways in the park__!~ __We living in a powder peg… an gifing off farts!~"_

Then they sang in unison_ "__I really need you tonight__! __Forever's gonna start tonight__! __Forever's gonna start tonight!~"_

And we'll just leave these two to their hallucination.

* * *

"Where are they?!"

Hera was growing restless. It's been a few hours since the arrival of the other gods and goddesses, they could not go to their rooms because their queen forbade them, and the fact that she was still shouting at 3 am in the morning.

She glared at her husband who was at the bottom of the stairs. "Zeus! It's your fault! Why did you leave them when you knew that your _bastard_" Everyone twitched. "-son, still can't teleport!"

The god made sure to keep his distance from her. Even though she was stuck in her throne, she could do things that any living would fear. "Actually, I only learned that from Apollo today."

"You should've at least made sure that the craftsman would be coming here without any problems!"

"Argh! I can't believe this! I should be sleeping right about now! Not listening to her rants!" exclaimed Aphrodite.

Artemis shushed her. "Be quiet! If you want her to shut up, then don't add more oil to the fire!"

"What fire?! There's no fire in the middle of the room! Get some sleep Artemis, you're imagining things!"

"Ohh~! I maybe the one imagining, but your death won't be!"

Hera heard the two and commanded "Quiet you two! Can't you see that I'm speaking over here?! Or do you want to taste some of my voodoo magic?!"

Aphrodite muttered "We're already having your bitter nectar."

The doors opened to reveal Apollo and went inside. "Your highness, they have arrived. They'll be here in a few minutes." He readied himself for a shout, or a sarcastic comment from her, but none was heard.

Hera was silent, and she was thinking that the day has finally arrived. Nine years of pain and sorrow as she kept this dark secret from the world might finally end. A part of her wanted the craftsman to be him, while the other didn't. Emotions started to rise as every second went by, waiting for the past that she rid off a long time ago. And then, she heard it, heard his voice…

"_Like a virgin, touch for the very first time!_"

Ok…

"_Like a virgin! When your heart beats, next to mine!~"_

She was not expecting that, but she has to admit, they have nice voices, even though they were drunk.

They looked at the doors as the singing got louder. It burst opened and the two came in walking wobbly.

Hephaestus sang "_Like a virgin, ooh, ooh!_"

Dionysus, in a drunken stupor, shouted "_Like a virgin!_"

"_Feels so… good inside!~"_

They sang in unison"_When you hold me, and your heart beats, and you love me!_"

The other Olympians stared at them while they tried to get to the middle of the room, and when they did, Dionysus said "Your heinieness! I've brought the one, and only, queen-slayer, the craftsman!" He pointed to the left, but the other was on the right side. Then he went to his brothers, who caught him, and shouted "Free grape cakes for everyone!"

They waited for Hera to reprimand him, to shout at him, to release the forces of the world on him, but nothing. She just looked at him.

Hephaestus only noticed that he was in a big room and looked for Dionysus. "Dio!... Where are you?... *_sniff_* You said that… we'll get married!*_sniff_*" And then he started to cry.

Ares snickered. "This is freaking funny!"

"I want to laugh, but she might kill me." whispered Hermes.

"Hermes!" shouted Hera.

He muttered "Oh great." He looked at her. "Yes?"

"Get him a cloth, quickly!" She watched him leave and turned to the sobbing being. "And you, stop crying."

Hermes came back and gave the cloth to Hephaestus, which he took and wiped his face.

Hera said "Mortal, state your name."

Hephaestus slowly looked up to the goddess trapped in her throne, and when he saw her, he knew, she was the one who threw him off of Olympus. She was the one who stripped everything away from him. He gripped the cloth that he was holding.

How dare she! Did she really loathe him to forget her own child? Forgotten him who grew inside of her for months? Forgotten the name she gave him? The face that made her discard him? This face that- Oh yeah, he was wearing his hooded scarf.

Duh~ Hephaestus.

"Mortal, your name." repeated Hera.

Hephaestus bowed his head. "You… know me…"

"I cannot hear you."

"You know me." he said in a firm voice.

"If I already know you-"

He cut her off. "Don't you dare lie! You know deep down who I am!"

Zeus said "How dare you talk to her-"

Hera glared at him "Stay out of this, Zeus!"

Hephaestus was really trying hard to keep his mind intact. Whatever Dionysus gave him, he was not going to have any of it anymore. "FFFine! Keep on playing this game of yoursss~! But I had enough! I'll tell them the truth and the secret that you've been hiding, beotch!" He swayed a bit before continuing "Thisss~ monster-" He pointed at her. "threw a new-born babe off a clifff~! And for nine yearsss~…she lived without a care in the world!"

Apart from Hera, who was remembering that day, the Olympians listened to him.

He started hiccuping but continued "I will ssshow you… the reason*_hiccup_* why she did ssso!" He pointed at his face as he turned to them. "Thisss! This is the*_hiccup_*reason!" Then he quickly swiped the scarf off of him, and the face revealed made them gasp and scream.

"AAAHHHHH! Wow! A scarf that can turn into a hood? Magnifique! Does that thing turn into a dress too?" exclaimed Aphrodite, and she received "You are really dumb" looks from them.

Athena said "For once, shut that mouth of yours."

Hephaestus looked at the goddess. Oh! It's Afro! Beautiful Afro- Focus Hephaestus!

He turned back to Hera and asked "Now do you remember?!*_hiccup_*"

Hera remembered that face alright. That face that often hunted her at night, and she could never forget it no matter how much she wanted to for her guilt always made sure that she remembered the deed that she had done. She bowed her head in shame and in guilt and was about to say something when she was cut off.

"I want you to accept*_hiccup_*me for who I am!"

She was trying hard not to cry. The way he spoke, even though he was drunk, said that he went through a lot of pain and it was all her fault. At times, she wanted to find him, find her lost son and be reconciled, but the other part of her held her, and reminded her of the consequences.

She gulped and said softly, but loud enough for everyone to hear "I'm… sorry. I-"

He cut her off. "No! I don't want*_hiccup_* your apology nor your pity!"

Another pang of guilt hit her. "I know that… but still, I really am… for doing that to you back then… I'm really sorry." She looked at him in the eyes and said "Hephaestus, I accept you for who you are, and I would not deny it in front of the Olympian council."

It was silent at first, the Olympians could not believe that they heard the queen apologize to someone like him, even though they did not know what was going on. Then, they saw Hephaestus started heading up the thrones.

Hephaestus stopped for a few seconds beside Hera but did not look at her. He continued and went behind. At the back of the throne, there was a small box-like device attached, and he easily detached it, which made the cuffs trapping Hera release her.

Hephaestus held the device up and said "You're all idiotsss~! You could've easily freed her!" Then he threw it down. He passed by the queen without looking and went downstairs. He looked at them and said "If I see any of your facesss again, I will hit you with my-" He brought out his hammer. "-hammie! Fear us, immortalsss! For we shall set fire to the rain~!" And for effect he shot out flames to the ceiling. He turned and his eyes landed to Ares, his brother, for a few seconds before heading for the door. He was about to go out when he remembered that he needed a ride home. He looked at Dionysus and said "I'll borrow your Ass~ and ride down!"

He giggled and took a sip from his wine bottle before saying "Just make sure to return my Ass! And be gentle with it! He doesn't like it too rough!"

"Don't worry, I'll send your Ass~ back!" he said as he left.

If the Olympians were confused, then they were more confused to what transpired between the two. No one spoke, but they just turned their heads to their queen who was still sitting on her throne even though she was freed.

Zeus climbed a few steps before saying "Dear…"

Hera stared blankly at her feet as she softly said "Just leave me…"

"Are you…alright?"

"Please, just leave…"

And so they left the room with unanswered questions, leaving the ice queen all by herself as the sun rose, to shed light on the once tranquil mountain.

* * *

**A/N:** Hey guys! Just wanted you to know to ready yourselves for the finale next week! :)

The songs mentioned above are **Total Eclipse of the Heart** by** Westlife (ver.)** and** Like a Virgin** by **Madonna**.


	10. Hephaestus, The God of Fire

**A/N:** Alright people! Let's wrap it up!

* * *

Ever since the incident two weeks ago, the Olympians never again showed up on Hephaestus' doorstep, which he was grateful because he did not want to know what he had done before and after freeing his mother, he has a feeling that he did something stupid. Now, he can live peacefully again with his mother and aunt in their beautiful grotto. But the two has been talking about reclaiming his rightful place in Olympus, which he kept on refusing, and the only other problem was his biological mother.

She has been sending him gifts for the past few days and he hoped that this was the last one, though he may be lying to himself. No matter how much she tried, he won't be forgiving her anytime soon, but that doesn't mean that he was going to throw all his gifts away. He almost burned the first three gifts if he had not seen the contents. They were rare and valuable stuff that his kind would sell his soul to the Dark Lord just to acquire them.

He uncovered it and was amazed by the glistening bottle. At first, he thought that whatever was inside was alive, but he realized that it was a bottle full of electricity. He marveled at his gift, and then he wrapped it with the cloth.

"Hephaestus!"

He watched as Thetis and Eurynome approached him. The latter spoke "Looks like that mother of yours has finally broken her pride!"

They sat beside him on the ground and the goddess said "Hephaestus, me and Eury have been talking and whatever your decision is, we shall accept it. Like we always say, you're all grown up, and you can make your own decisions. We don't want to force you to stay in a place that you do not want to. We're just worried about your future."

The titaness agreed. "Thats it, besides, you can always travel you know, learn different things about your crafting and stuff. You don't need all those stuff in that palace. Just make sure to visit us once in a while."

Hephaestus actually has been thinking about it even though he kept refusing. He thought that he could do more, build things that no one has ever done at Olympus. He could travel, or more like teleport, but they have the stuff there, based on the gifts his mother had sent, and it was just lying there, waiting for someone to use them.

He was looking at his gift as he said "Mother, Aunt…thank you for everything…You took care of me…even though I wasn't your own…and I'm really thankful… I promise you, whatever happens…the two of you will always be…my family." He looked and smiled warmly at them. Thetis hugged him and he wrapped his around her.

Eurynome rolled her eyes and muttered "We're getting sappier each day."

"Oh Eury, hugged your little nephew." said Thetis.

She stood up and said "Alright! C'mon li'l Heffie, hug your Auntie!"

Hephaestus stood up and hugged her. Then he said "I…have another big project…I need to start soon."

Eurynome exclaimed "You always have a project! And I hope it's not that _kind_ of project! I swear if you do that ever again, I will trap you in tartarus! It's a good thing she's your mother cuz' if not, you would have been dead already!"

"…Don't worry…it won't hurt anyone…"

"Well let's have some snacks. Come along Hephaestus!" said Theits as she and the titaness headed for the hidden cave.

He smirked. "…not yet."

* * *

**Three weeks later…**

"Order! I said order!"

Everyone settled down on their thrones at the council room, except for one, who was giving off a dark aura at the corner of the room. Zeus looked at him and said "Hades! What are you doing there?"

He slowly opened his eyes and glared at him. "What do you think, Zeus? It's my job to fetch "special" souls and take them back to the Underworld, where they would forever rot in the depths of my abode."

The room felt cold all of a sudden, and they just shut their mouths, except for Hera who rolled her eyes and said "Husband, you really are ignorant. Our brother doesn't have a seat."

Zeus looked around and said "Ah! Of course!" He conjured a small chair between him and Poseidon's. "Come and let us start."

Hades looked at the chair which looked more like a stool. He strode over there, gave his brother a "FU" look and sat on it.

No one dared to laugh at the Lord of the Underworld, even though he looked small sitting on that thing.

Zeus said "As you may have known, I have called all of you today because a dangerous threat is looming over us. Hermes has received word that a certain blacksmith has made a powerful weapon than my thunderbolt-" He was cut off by the snickers of his sons. He cleared his throat and continued "Like I was saying, a much more powerful thunderbolt which not only could destroy the world if improperly handled, it could also kill a god."

"Or a nymph!" whispered Hermes to his brothers who were muffling their laughter.

Hades crossed his arms as he said "So you're telling me, you required my presence just so I can hear this, which I've already known since a week ago?"

"Don't you understand, Hades? It could wipe out everything! It could kill a god! And worst, it could kill me!" exclaimed Zeus.

"Do you really want to hear my comment on that, baby brother?"

Demeter asked "And who is this blacksmith? Then again, you could just dispose him."

Poseidon nodded. "True, I mean, he is coming here."

"What?!" exclaimed some of the Olympians as they looked at Zeus with disbelief on their faces.

He held his hands up and said "Now look, I have a plan."

Hades turned his head a bit and asked "And that plan is?"

"First, I want to see that weapon, if it is more destructive than mine, I will have it. My sons will grab him, knock him out and I'll grab the weapon. Then we can dispose him."

"Hey Dad! You promised me I'll be the one to kill him!" exclaimed Ares.

Hera, of course, would not have any of that. "If you even dare lay a finger on him, I will murder you, Zeus."

Everyone stared at her, and Poseidon asked "Are we talking about that blacksmith that trapped you, Hera?"

"Yes."

Athena decided that it was time to learn the truth. She stood up, cleared her throat to attract their attention. "Lady Hera, please do not take this the wrong way but, I believe it's time that you told us what is your relationship with this craftsman. Almost all of the gods and goddesses know of what had happened and are spreading lies about it, but I, and my fellow Olympians want to know the truth."

Hera just stared at her without any emotion showing on her face. "Well Athena, you are considered to be a wise goddess, so you know you could put the pieces together to solve the puzzle. Perhaps, you already know."

She nodded. "Yes. When I learned that you had sent presents to him three weeks ago, I knew who he was to you, but, I still want to hear, for us to hear the words from you, my lady."

Zeus turned to his wife and asked "You've been giving presents to your captor?" He slammed his fists on the arms of his throne and said in rage "I demand to know who he is to you!"

Hera just stayed calm as usual and replied "Zeus, first, let me just say, you are an idiot. Second, you have no right to be angry with me. Third, he is not my lover. And lastly, he is my son."

The Olympians could not believe at what she has said. Hera has a son? Why did she not tell them? And most of all, who is the father?

Zeus opened his mouth, and then closed it again.

"No Zeus, he is not your son."

Now that made Zeus very angry, and he stood up and shouted "Who?! Who is this-!"

Poseidon said "Zeus, calm down, let Hera explain!"

"Hephaestus, is my son, and the reason why I had him is because of you, husband."

He calmed down a bit and said "But-, but you said he's not mine!"

"Yes. I conceived him…in another way." she said as she glanced at her brother.

Zeus noticed this and turned to where she was looking at. He stared at his older brother who looked at him casually, and it made his blood boil. "You!"

Hades pinched the bridge of his nose as he thought to himself that he cannot believe that this was happening. "Zeus-"

"Hades! How dare you!"

Demeter said "Zeus, do you really-"

He cut her off. "Quiet!" He turned back to him "How could you?! I trusted you!"

Hades crossed his arm. "Say it, Zeus. Come on."

He pointed at him. "You! You!"

"Say it."

"You! You knew that my wife was having an affair with Apollo and you didn't tell me!"

…

…

"You just went full retard. No one goes full retard." Hades stated it in a factual way, which it was. The others just turned their heads to the blond god.

"W-Wait! I-I didn't-" Apollo looked at her sister. "It's not true!"

"Ugh~! Seriously Apollo?" Artemis looked away, which made Apollo feel like it was the end of his life.

Ares asked his mother "Is that ugly guy really my brother?!"

Hera glared at him and answered "Yes, and if I ever hear you calling your younger brother ugly again, that scar on your face will multiply." She turned to her husband. "Zeus, since you're done showing your maximum stupidity level, allow me to explain. Hades only gave me an idea on how to conceive a child all by myself, so please spare our brother from your idiocy."

"How?"

She rolled her eyes. "Oh but dear husband, you already know the answer since Athena popped out of your head like a rainbow out of nowhere. You can always tell us how you "magically" created her inside of you."

He gulped before asking "B-But… why? You could always say you want another…child…"

Hera twitched, and shot up from her seat. She completely lost it. "It's because of her!" She pointed at Athena. "She's the reason why Hephaestus was born! You just had to bore a child so~ amazing that everyone loves her! But you've seen him! Your _bastard_" The younger Olympians twitched. "-children have seen him! I had bore a child inferior to yours! He's not like her, he's not like them who're all smart, beautiful and handsome, and that's why I threw him! And yes! Yes I am ashamed of what I've done and I felt guilty for hiding him from all of you! Are you happy now, dear _husband_? I am a total b*tch!" Hera was panting while she tried to calm herself. She took a deep breath and sat back while ignoring the terrified looks from the other Olympians. She cleared her throat and calmly said "Do not worry. I won't let him hurt any of you though." She looked at her husband. "Zeus, I only ask you one thing, if he accepts, consider Hephaestus as an Olympian not only because he is my son, but because he could be of great service to us."

He scratched his head. "Ok, now I'm confused."

A knock on the door was heard and it opened to reveal a nymph. She bowed and said "I apologize for the disturbance. The blacksmith, Hephaestus, has arrived."

"Let him in."

The nymph bowed again and stepped aside to reveal the god himself. He walked inside as the door closed behind him. He did not look at his mother, but only stared at the King of the gods.

The gods and goddesses noticed that something was strapped on his back and that it was wrapped in a black cloth. Some of them became nervous when they suspected that it was the weapon.

Zeus said "So, you came."

Hephaestus answered "You summoned my presence…"

He nodded his head while he inspected the thing behind him. "This weapon you created, have you brought it?"

"…Yes, your highness."

The others readied themselves just in case, while Hades and Hera calmly listened to the conversation.

Zeus was starting to sweat and gulped. "We know the story behind you and your mother. Here in the Olympian council, we first discuss the problems and find ways to peacefully solve it."

Hades said "Is that a joke? Did you just make a joke, Zeus?"

He glared at him and turned to the younger god. "What I'm trying to say is, let us settle this without any violence."

Since his face was hidden, they could not see that he was smirking because it amused him that they were so afraid of him, even though he was not going to threaten them or anything.

It was Hades first time in seeing his nephew, but he knew of what had transpired nine years ago. For the first few years of the young god's life, he ordered Thanatos and his siblings to check on him from time to time, just to make sure that he was growing up to be like what the Fates had said _"…he will grow and he shall set fire to the rain…"_

And no, he was not worried nor anything. (Lol! In denial!)

"Do take off your hood."

Hephaestus turned his head to the Lord of the Underworld and thought that he must be the other Uncle. Why was he even sitting on that small chair? Nonetheless, he obeyed and took it off, which made them gasp and scream again.

He swore if these are the reaction he gets every time he takes off his damn hood, he will kill a nymph! He is getting tired of their shit.

He was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard "About that weapon…" He reached for it on his back and slowly unwrap it. Then, light burst from the weapon and the Olympians quickly brought out there weapons but Zeus signaled them to halt.

The destructive weapon was like that of Zeus, but more beautiful and powerful. They could feel the power emanating from it.

"I call it…the Lightning Bolt Z…"

They could not believe that someone like him could create a weapon more powerful than the thunderbolt. The Cyclops are the only ones who could make such things, but seeing him with his creation, he was truly a unique god.

Zeus was drooling, and Hera had to wipe it with a cloth before going to her son. "You have made a wonderful creation from the gift I sent you. I am impressed, Hephaestus."

He only nodded.

Hera decided to start over and take their relationship one at a time. She had failed him for nine years, and would not let that happen ever again, even if it takes a thousand years for him to forgive and accept her as his mother.

"What do you want, in exchange for that lightning bolt? I shall give you anything you want, power, wealth, anything that you desire." said Zeus.

That was what Hephaestus was waiting for, and he was going to take that offer. "I…I only wish to know…who my…father is…" he answered as he looked at his mother.

Before Zeus could say anything, Hera answered "I know that this may be confusing to you but, you don't have a father. I conceived you without copulation, and one day, if you wish to know why, I shall tell you, but for now, I hope you understand."

Hephaestus blinked and thought that Hera's a hermaphrodite. Is he a hermaphrodite too? Ugh~ Weird much?

He went to Zeus, bowed his head slightly and handed the weapon to him.

Zeus was shocked, but his hands automatically reached for it, and when it was in his hands, it discharge and it made him powerful, much more powerful than he ever felt. "This is… This is… Wow!"

"…I didn't mean to threaten all of you…I apologize… I only seek for the answer which you've given me…and I'm thankful…I shall be on my way…" He bowed and headed for the door.

Hera quickly eyed Zeus and the latter exclaimed "Wait, just for a moment!"

Hephaestus turned around and waited.

"Can you make more of this?"

He nodded. "Yes... If you wish for more…I'll make them… but the materials are only found in your abode, your highness…"

Poseidon rubbed his chin. "You make weapons, right? I want to see some of your works."

"And the jewelries! I will pay you ten times you your price." said Demeter.

"Me too! Me too!" exclaimed Aphrodite.

Hades stood up, which made the others shut their mouth. He strode over to his nephew and said "Would like to come with me to the Underworld? Your skill would be useful down there, and I shall compensate you for all your works. You need not worry of your materials, I have valuable metals, stones, magical ingredients, and every other thing that you need in your work."

This time, Hera glared at her husband, signaling him to do something or her son will be living in hell!

Zeus quickly went to them and said "Now come on Hades, why down there when he could stay with us! Besides, if you want something from him then send him a letter or something." He turned to the younger god. "I would personally like to have you in this palace. And when I mean by that, you will become an Olympian. Everything that you need will be given to you, just ask. Now, what do you say?"

Hephaestus was thinking, and he was having second thoughts. He can achieve his dreams if he agrees, and he could always visit Thetis and Eurynome but…Argh! Think, think Hephaestus! His eyes landed on his crush. Oh Aphrodite~! If he stays here, he could see her everyday~!

Afro! Afro! Afro! Afro! Afro~!

Zeus noticed that he was looking passed by him, so he glanced to where his eyes were, and when he saw the goddess, he smirked. He whispered to his brother "Sorry Hades, but his ass is mine!"

Hades said "Please Zeus, he's only nine years old. You should be ashamed of yourself." He went back to his stool.

He cleared his throat to get the attention of Hephaestus. "Apart from being an Olympian, and as a present to my wife's son, I shall marry you to Aphrodite."

…

"WHAT?!"

The younger gods retorted to this, and the goddess herself fainted on her seat.

"Dad, that's not fair!"

"He has to fight me first before that happens!"

"But Dad~!"

"At least I still have my grapes. They'll never leave me. *_smooch_*"

"Silence!" He turned to the god. "So, do we have a deal?"

Hephaestus could not believe it, if he says yes, he will have Aphrodite. If he says yes, he'll marry Aphrodite. If he says yes, he'll be sleeping with Aphrodite!

Oh my Chaos! It's a new ship!

It's like the ship of Ares and Athena! Arena!

Apollo and Artemis! Aportemis!

Or Hermes and Artemis! Heartemis!

For them it will be Heffro! Heffie and Afro! Gah! OTP!

"I accept the terms and conditions." said Hephaestus.

"Wonderful! Looks like a celebration will be held next week!" exclaimed Zeus. He heard the retorts of his sons and said "My word is the law, whether you like it or not! Besides, my brothers and sisters don't seem to disagree with me?" He looked at them and they nodded, which meant that there was no problem.

Hera managed to breathe and felt glad that her son will be living with them soon. She went to them and kissed Zeus on the cheek which made him blush. "I'm curious though, what made you craft like that of Zeus' thunderbolt?"

Hephaestus was enjoying his fantasy of him and Aphrodite frolicking at the Elysian fields when his B*ITCH of a mother had to disrupt him. He was so going to make it hard for her these next few years. "…I thought that he was my Father…I decided to just give it since it was made for him…He also once promised me he'll let me see his thunderbolt…but that didn't happen so I made one…"

She raised an eyebrow. "Promised you?"

He nodded. "He promised me if I agree to free you…I'll also get to touch it…"

…

…

"My, my, Zeus. Is that what you've been doing? Dirtying an innocent mind? And promising him to touch your…_thunderbolt_?" said Hades with a smirk on his face.

The Olympians snickered as Zeus started sweating. "T-That's not-"

Hera glared at him and said "You promised him to let him see and touch that _dirty~_ _thunderbolt _of yours?!"

They were now stifling their laughter and Hades muttered to himself "You have done it again, Aidoneus."

Zeus was taking a few steps backwards as he said "L-L-Look, I can expla-"

"Oh~ you don't need to explain anything! I'm gonna cut that _thunderbolt_ of yours, husband!" Hera conjured a dagger and approached Zeus.

Hermes said "My Lady, I think you meant, _lightning bolt_, with a Z!" A wave of laughter followed with Hera chasing Zeus around the room.

Aphrodite, who just woke up, exclaimed "I just had a nightmare! And it was horrible! I dreamed of being married to that- that freak!"

Artemis smirked. "That was not a dream, sister. You'll be known as _Mrs. Hephaestus_!" She laughed as the goddess fainted again.

Hephaestus watched everything and thought to himself that he was one hell for a ride with this family for the next years to come.

* * *

And that, my dear readers, was how Zeus thunderbolt became the lightning bolt Z.

...

Jk! Let me try that again.*_clears throat_* And that, my dear readers, was how Hephaestus became one of the Olympians and became known as, the **God of Fire**.

**THE END**

...

So…wanna see Zeus' _lightning bolt_? *_nudge, nudge, wink, wink_*

* * *

**A/N:** Yes, I know that this is not part of the original myth. Then again, most of the stuff I wrote isn't part of it. I guess if I'm the original author, this would be the one you would be reading in your history and literature class right now! Lolololololololol! I hope you enjoyed it!

**And thank you for those who have fave, followed, and reviewed this fic! I very much appreciate them, and check out my other works like the Orb of the Protogenoi**, **Dearest Mother**, **blah blah blah…**

**Reviews are appreciated. :3 **


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